Love The Way You Lie
by jessiechaos
Summary: This will be a series of one-shots surrounding a AU involving Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, set in modern times, with no powers. Its going to be a bit of fun, drama, angst and lots of smut. More information inside.
1. The Deal

Author's notes: This story is based on an MV I saw on youtube of the same name. My friend showed it to me and said the words "I want a fanfiction over this video." and here we are. I highly suggest watching the video, to get an idea of where this story is going and if you want to stick around.

Youtube search: Love the way you lie stucky

This will be a series of several one-shots all set in the same world, surrounding Bucky and Steve in various stages of their lives. Its set in modern times and the boys have no powers. There will be angst and drama and hot, hot sex. If that is your cup o tea, then come join me for the ride.

* * *

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes was sitting in the back seat of a Humvee, as it drove across the desert, heading towards Baghdad. He was being transferred. Again. He suspected it has something do with the assault on his team last week. His father must have gotten wind of it and asked for the transfer. He sighed as he looked out the window. He joined the Marines to get away from his father's influence but even halfway around the world, it followed him. It didn't matter much, an order was an order and he was ordered to Baghdad, so here he was.

He felt a hand on his and he smiled slightly. He turned and looked at the only thing that currently made since in his messed up life.

"You ok, Bucky?" he heard Steve Rogers ask him.

"Yeah… I have a feeling my father might have had a hand in this transfer…" Bucky said. Steve shrugged at that.

"If he did, he did. There isn't much we can do about it now," Steve said. Bucky let out a chuckle. Steve was always so laid back. It made him relax. He was right, there wasn't much he could do about it. No point in worrying.

"Yeah. Hate it when you're right," He said giving him another smile. "Rumlow, how much longer until we get there?" Bucky asked the driver.

"What, Barnes? You got a hot date tonight?" Rumlow asked.

"No. I was just wondering how much longer I was going to have to put up with your shitty taste in music?" He teased his teammate. Rumlow shook his head.

"These youngsters, can't handle the classics," He said to Carter, who was sitting next to him, before turning up the music, getting a chuckle from the rest of the team. Bucky's eyes looked over at Steve's, exchanging familiar looks. Yeah...maybe this move wasn't going to be so bad.

The next thing Bucky hears was the explosion, not sure what was happening as the Humvee flipped 3 times. Once the world stopped spinning, all Bucky could feel was the pain, feeling like it was all over his body.

"Shit," He heard someone say, not sure who, with the mess, his head was in. He blinked a few times, not understanding why everything was so blurry. He felt a great pressure on his leg so he tried to move it. He let out a gasp of pain as the pain radiated from his leg, knowing it was pinned.

"Shit...Bucky!" He heard Steve's voice, and he turned to look at him.

"What… What happened?" He asked, still not able to comprehend what was going on as the blood trickled down his face.

"I don't know but we need to get out of here?" He said, panicked. That was when Bucky noticed the smell. Smoke. Something was on fire. That shocked him back to himself, looking to the front of the Humvee, seeing Rumlow getting out, pulling out their other teammate.

"Ok," He said trying to move his leg again, finding that he still couldn't. "I'm stuck…" He told Steve. Steve crawled around the Humvee trying to free Bucky's leg. That was when Bucky saw the flames engulfing the front of the vehicle.

"Steve!" He screamed.

"Just a second…"

"No now! You have to get out of here," Bucky pleaded as the smoke filled the cabin.

"I'm not leaving without you," He heard Steve say, as he moved to pull Bucky's leg free, Bucky letting out a scream of pain.

* * *

Bucky shot up from the bed, a scream in the back of his throat, his body drenched in sweat. His breathing was coming in short gasps. He swore he could still smell the smoke as the dream started to fade away. He felt a hand on his bare back, lips kissing his shoulder, trying to ground him back to reality.

"Same dream?" He heard Steve ask him. Bucky nodded, still not trusting his lungs to work.

"It's ok… you're safe," Steve said, coaxing him out of his bad dream. Once Bucky got his breathing under control, he shrugged off Steve's touch.

"I need to go to the bathroom…" He said.

"Let me help you," Steve told him. Bucky shook his head.

"I got it…" He said before moving to the edge of the bed, grabbing his crutches. He got out of bed skillfully, using the crutches to support his broken leg. It had been about 4 months since that day, but the dreams made it feel like it was just yesterday. He made his way to the bathroom, thankful for the lack of clothing, making going to the restroom much easier with his crutches.

Once he was done, he looked into the mirror, seeing the dark circles under his eyes, due to lack of sleep. He sighed before opening the medicine cabinet, pulling out a bottle. He knew he needed some sleep and the throbbing he was feeling in his leg wasn't helping.

He pulled a white pill from the bottle of codeine, before dry swallowing the pill with practiced ease. He sighed before putting the pills back up, making his way back to bed. He found Steve waiting for him. A smile slipped on Bucky's lips.

Bucky made his way back to bed, laying down before feeling Steve's arms around him as he pulled him closer to him.

"You sure you're ok?" Steve questioned him.

"I am now," he said, turning to look at Steve in the moonlight of his apartment. He leaned in, kissing Steve on the lips, hearing Steve's moan of approval. Bucky started to kiss down Steve's neck before getting a chuckle from him.

"Twice was not enough for you, sweetheart?" Steve asked.

"Apparently not…" Bucky whispered into his ear.

"Not sure if I should take that as an insult on my skills or a compliment on just how irresistible I am," Steve teased.

"Complement…" Bucky said, nipping at Steve's neck, causing the other man to moan out. Steve smiled at that before his hand slipped down Bucky's chest.

"I'm flattered… but you have a busy day tomorrow…" Steve said as his hand slipped lower. "And you need your sleep…" He purred into Bucky's ear.

"Screw sleep," Bucky said. Steve smiled, his hand wrapping around Bucky's hard cock. Bucky let out a whimper right into Steve's ear as he began to glide his hand up and down Bucky's erection.

"Compromise…" Steve told him as he began to stroke him faster. Bucky's arms wrapped around Steve's neck, as he sucked on the tender flesh.

"God… Steve," Bucky moaned into Steve's ear.

"That's it, Buck... I want to hear you… god, you're gorgeous like this…" Steve told him as he stroked him faster, wanting nothing more than his lover to fall apart in his hands.

"Steve!" Bucky screamed, as his teeth sank into Steve's neck, feeling himself spill over his chest as he came. He loved the dual highs he was feeling from his orgasm and the medication kicking in, as they washed over his body, making him feel like nothing mattered in the world except for this moment. Being here. Being with Steve.

* * *

Bucky groaned as he woke up, confused about the noise. It took him entirely too long to realize it was the alarm on his phone.

"Fuck…" He cursed out, not wanting to leave the fuzzy haze that was sleep. He heard Steve chuckle.

"Get up sleepy head," Steve told him. Bucky looked up at his clothed lover, before pulling the covers over his head.

"Dude… you can't sleep all day. Your doctor's appointment is in an hour. If I have to drag you there myself, I will so get up…" Steve firmly told him. Bucky rolled his eyes before pulling the blanket off him, getting up.

"That's better. I have breakfast for you on the table once you get dressed," He told Bucky before giving him a kiss on the cheek, leaving him. About 15 minutes later Bucky left the bedroom, in a t-shirt and basketball shorts. He used his crutches to get to the table and sat down at the prepared plate for him.

"Thank you!" He called out.

"You're welcome," He heard Steve say from Steve's room. Bucky started to eat the breakfast before he saw Steve leave his room, dressed in a suit.

"Where are you going looking so sharp?" Bucky asked.

"Hot date," He joked. Bucky rolled his eyes. "Job interview," He explained.

"Ahh.. you know I could always make a call and get you a job…" Bucky offered.

"And owe your father anything… I think not," Steve huffed. Steve had gotten to know George Barnes a little, more in passing, but he had come to some of the same conclusions that Bucky had.

"I can understand that… but you got the whole hero thing going for you. Saving his only son and all." Bucky said with a smile.

"I didn't do it for him," Steve said as he leaned down to kiss Bucky. At that, the doorbell rang. The two men exchanged looks.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Steve asked. Bucky shook his head. Steve walked over to the door looking through the peephole before sighing.

"Speak the devil's name…" He said quietly. He opened the door.

"Hello George," Steve told him.

"Steven," George Barnes said giving Steve a side look as he entered. He looked around disapprovingly at the two bedroom apartment. It wasn't much more than a hole in the wall to this man, and he felt his son deserved better. He was currently dressed in a three-piece suit, looking everything like the rich aristocrat he was.

"Father… what are you doing here?" Bucky asked.

"And I missed you too, James," George snapped. Bucky sighed.

"Sorry, Father," Bucky said. "I wasn't expecting you. I was just curious." George nodded.

"I heard you had an appointment and I figured I could drive you," George told him.

"It's only three blocks away, father," He explained. It was part of the reason he got this apartment. It was close to his doctor and eventually where he would be getting his physical therapy. He watched as Steve went back to his room, giving the two of them room to talk, or running away from the eventual argument. It was a toss-up.

"No need. I have the car. I figured we could go out for lunch after…" George said. Bucky knew there had to be another motive for his father's visit but he knew he would have to bite his tongue for now.

"Ok," He said, giving into his father.

"Good, when you're dressed, we can go," George said.

"I'm already dressed," Bucky said with a sigh.

"You're not going out like that?" He said, disgust in his voice.

"It's a doctor's appointment father, not the winter gala. I don't need a suit. I want to wear something comfortable…" He explained, getting his crutches, breakfast forgotten.

"You must always look your best…besides, It's freezing outside," George argued.

"I don't have much I can wear right now with the cast, father, plus I don't have much clean. The laundry room is down a flight of stairs and I haven't had the strength to make the journey?" He snapped out.

"Why hasn't Steven helped you?" George asked. Bucky rolled his eyes. He knew Steve would have done it if he asked, but he'd been feeling guilty for relying on him as much as he had.

"He has, I didn't ask. I can do things myself father. I'm hurt not an invalid." He told his father. "Hopefully, I can get this cast off today so I can stop embarrassing you with my choice of clothes."

Bucky could tell he's pissed off his father, but he didn't care anymore, his leg was throbbing and the forming headache wasn't helping. He didn't have much patience for the man right now. George huffed out.

"Let's get to the car…" He said, disdain in his voice. Bucky made his way to the door before calling out.

"Good luck today," He called out.

"Same to you, Bucky," He heard Steve call back.

They made it to his father's car, getting into the back seat, knowing his father was about to give him an ear full.

"You're going to come back home…" His father started. Bucky shook his head.

"Not happening father."

"You would have a safe place to recover. A car to take you to appointments. Someone to wash your clothes for you…" he said with some disdain.

"I can wash my own clothes. I don't need… what's her name? Gabriela? To do it for me…" Bucky explained.

"Apparently you do…" Bucky let out a breath.

"Can we please stop arguing…" Bucky begged. George just shook his head.

"I see Steven is still living with you…"

"Oh, can we please stop about that! He saved my life… I'm not going to kick him out because you think he's been there too long," Bucky told him.

I don't like to see you being used is all… and the way he calls you Bucky… it's too… familiar."

"I like Bucky. All the guys in my unit called me that…" Bucky explained. He was thankful when the car stopped. Bucky grabbed his crutches. "I would appreciate if you'd just go…" Bucky told his father.

"If you want me to keep paying for that apartment… I suggest you let me take you out to lunch.." George said. Bucky pursed his lips, shaking his head.

"Fine… Just lay off Steve," He said as he got out of the car, going into the hospital, and heading to his appointment. His father was quiet through most of the appointment, listening in as they talked about his leg. He went for an x-ray before Bucky was happy with the news that they were taking the cast off. He was still going to need his crutches until he could get the strength back in his legs, but he was ecstatic when he got the fucking thing off. He spent a little longer setting up his first physical therapy appointment before the doctor sent him on his way.

By the time he made it back to his father's car, he was thankful the man had driven them. He was tired, and in a lot of pain, wishing nothing more than to take some pain meds and a nap.

"How about I have my driver pick up some lunch for us, and we take you home… I can discuss what I came for while we wait." His father offered him. Bucky gave him a small smile.

"Thank you. That would be fine," Bucky said as George told his driver to take him back to his apartment. He was thankful that Steve had not only cleared out but had cleaned up a little before he left. Bucky sat on the couch, propping his leg up with practiced ease before his father sat in a nearby chair.

"So what would you like to talk about?" Bucky asked.

"College…" His father told him. He sighed.

"When?"

"Next fall," He said. Bucky thought about it for a moment. That would give him about 7 more months.

"Where?"

"I can get you into Booth." Bucky sighed. Chicago. It was far enough from his father… but it was also far away from Steve. 7 months…

"No more talk about me moving back home. Or not paying for this apartment. You leave me alone. Let me heal in peace. If you give me that, I'll go," He said. He knew this day would come, where he'd have to fall in line, he just wished he gotten more time. He could tell his father wasn't happy with the conditions but he nodded anyway, knowing he got the better end of the deal.

"Ok. With that settled… let's talk about Steven," George said.

"Let's not…" Bucky groaned.

"I'm just worried about you. A man like that, I'm worried he's using you to help himself up. We have many resources for him to exploit," His father told him. Bucky would have smiled if his father wasn't in the room. Bucky liked the way Steve used him.

"I've offered to let him use me… to use our influence to help him. He's refused. He's not that kind of man." Bucky said with a sigh.

"I'm also worried about how close you two seem to be. People talk..." George said. Bucky wondered if his father suspected. He'd been so careful up until now. Maybe Steve was causing him to slip.

"Father. I worked with him for nearly two years. We're more than just teammates. We're brothers in arms. We have each other's backs. He saved my life, nearly risking his own life to do so. If he needs a place to crash, he's got it. However long it takes. I don't care. Yes, we are close, but all it is is friendship," Bucky told his father firmly, hoping it would be the end of that. He could tell his father wasn't completely convinced. Bucky's mind raced, slipping back to Carter. She was still tight with him since the accident. He wondered if she'd do him a solid and be seen with him. The girl did like to party…

"Okay, I'll drop it." George finally said.

They made small talk after that before his father's driver came back with lunch, as well as groceries. Bucky wanted to refuse them at first, but he knew they needed them. Even rent free, they were still having trouble making some ends meet some days.

They ate their lunch at the table in near silence. The lunch was fancy, most likely from some place that was hard to get into and normally didn't do take out. But they would for George Barnes.

"I need to head out," George said, his meal about half eaten. "Business to attend to.." His father explained before pulling out his wallet, grabbing a few hundred's, handing them to Bucky.

"I'm good… I don't need it," Bucky said, his pride kicking in. His father sighed before dropping the money on the table.

"Get yourself some decent clothes," His father said, getting in one more jab before heading out. Bucky sighed. He looked at his father's plate, seeing the scotch his father left there. Bucky couldn't remember a meal where his father didn't have at least one drink and today wasn't an exception, he just brought his own, not caring at all that he left a nearly $500 bottle of scotch. Bucky eyed the bottle for a second. He picked it up, looked at it for a moment before he poured himself some. He swirled it in the glass for a moment before he downed it in one gulp. He sighed before pouring himself another, downing it just as fast. He sighed before he closed the bottle, deciding what he wanted more was a nap.

He cleared the table, putting what he could up, before he made it to his bed, feeling the warmth of the alcohol in his belly, and the medication he took earlier.

* * *

Bucky woke up to the feeling of a hand on his cheek. He smiled, leaning into the warmth. He heard Steve's chuckle before he leaned in, kissing his wrist.

"Hey, sweetheart," He heard Steve say. Bucky opened his eyes, looking at his lover, before Bucky pulled him down to him, pulling Steve into the bed. Steve let out a laugh at that, laying beside Bucky.

"Eager much?" He asked, looking into Bucky's eyes. "Dude… you're high as a kite, aren't you?" Steve asked.

"I only took one pill... I was in pain," Bucky whined. Steve gave him a curious looked before noticing the smell.

"Is that alcohol?" He asked. "I didn't even think we had any in the house…"

"Father left it…" He said with a smile. Steve huffed out.

"Should have figured… you know your not supposed to mix those two?" Steve chastised.

"You're no fun…" Bucky pouted.

"No seriously… you can't drink with your medication," Steve told him. At that, Bucky pushed Steve away from him, to Steve's surprise.

"I don't need you to tell me what to do…" Bucky grumbled out.

"Buck… I'm not trying to tell you what to do… I'm just worried," He told him.

"Then you can stop doing that too," Bucky snapped at him.

"What's going on with you?" He asked.

"I'm just tired of everyone telling me what I need to do!" Bucky told him, sitting up.

"Yeah… should have known this had something to do with your father…" Steve growled, a hand going through his hair. He sat on the bed, trying to pull Bucky into his arms in an attempt to calm him down, but Bucky just pushed him off. Steve slipped off the bed, tumbling to the floor. Bucky was a little surprised at his action, turning away from Steve before the other man could notice.

"What the fuck?" Steve yelled.

"Just leave me alone…" Bucky said. Steve growled getting off the floor, anger in his eyes.

"You know what? For someone who's trying so hard not to be like his father, you're sure acting like him…" Steve said in anger, regretting it the instant it was out of his mouth.

"You know what... Fuck you!" Bucky told him.

"Buck… I'm sorry… I shouldn't…" Steve said before Bucky interrupted him.

"In fact, get the fuck out!" He screamed. Steve looked at him shocked for a second before his eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, you know what… fuck this shit." He said before leaving the room. Bucky just sat there on the bed, listening as Steve stormed around the apartment. Next thing he heard was the front door open and then slammed shut, Bucky wincing at the sound. Bucky knew he was angry, but he also knew that Steve was not the person he was angry at.

"What the fuck did I just do?" He said to himself before he laid back down.

* * *

A few hours later, Bucky finally managed to get out of bed. He took his crutches, before walking over to Steve's room. He sighed when he saw that Steve had packed a bag in his anger. Bucky didn't blame him but it still hurt. Bucky went into the kitchen, before slowly cooking dinner, having a hard time on crutches but still managed it. He didn't realize how much Steve cooked for him until he was forced to do it himself. He wasn't sure if it was his injury or his lack of cooking experience that cause Steve to do all the cooking but right now he was missing his friend. His lover…

Bucky sat at the table, slowly eating his meal as he looked at his phone. Maybe he should call… or at least text him. See if he was okay.

Bucky sighed before going to clean up the kitchen. He saw the bottle of Scotch still sitting on the counter where he left it. It would be so easy just to drown himself in it.

He picked up the bottle, opening it slowly. He took a smell of its sweet aroma before he quickly dumped it down the drain. He went to throw the empty bottle in the trash, seeing the trash needed to be taken out. He rolled his eyes. He grumbled to himself before pulling the bag out, grabbing his crutches. He hobbled out of the apartment, making it slowly down the hall, to the garbage shoot. It was harder than Bucky expected, but he knew he was going to have to get used to it. Whether Steve came back or not, he needed to start pulling his weight around here. He never realized how much Steve did for him until this moment.

After that adventure, Bucky tried to watch some TV, with his phone on his leg, but he couldn't concentrate on the TV. He couldn't get up the nerve to call Steve and he was getting tired of just staring at it. He finally turned off the TV, tossing the remote and the phone on the coffee table before going to take a shower. He got dressed for bed in a pair of shorts, before crawling in, alone, the first time since he's moved in.

* * *

The sound of something breaking in the apartment woke Bucky up with a start. He leaned over to the bedside table, pulling out his Beretta from the drawer, clicking off the safety. He heard someone stumble before they cursed loudly.

"Steve?" Bucky called out.

"Yeah…" He heard Steve call back. Bucky let out a breath, before clicking the safety back on, putting his gun away.

"You know I could have shot you…" Bucky warned him.

"I'm sure I would have deserved it," Steve said with a slight slur, as he stumbled into the bedroom.

"You drunk?" He asked.

"Yeah, maybe just a little."

"And you got onto me about drinking…" Bucky chastised.

"I'm not the one taking opioids…" Steve snapped back. He stood over the bed, looking down at Bucky. Even in just the moonglow of the apartment, Bucky could see the heat in Steve's eyes.

"Still pissed?" Bucky asked.

"Oh, you have no idea…" Steve said in a low voice. It was unnerving.

"Surprised you came back."

"Wasn't planning on it... " Steve admitted.

"Then why are you here?" Bucky asked. Steve seemed to tower over Bucky then.

"Because I was at this bar… getting shit faced, trying to get over the fact my friend was such a fucking idiot… and this blonde comes up to me, sweet little thing. Perky tits and a sweet ass on her," Steve tells him. Bucky's eyes filled with a jealous heat. Steve saw it, a smirk slipping over his face. "She was all into me and I had a few too many so I thought maybe I could have a quick little fuck with her to get over the fact you were being a dick…"

"You know what, I don't want to hear this…" Bucky said, trying to get out of the bed. Steve grabbed him with practiced eased, pinning him down to the bed with his body. Bucky pushed against him, despite Steve's hand trapping his wrist.

"You're going to listen to what I have to say," Steve told him in an eerily quiet voice. Bucky nodded and stopped his struggling.

"So she took me to her place and we are making out. I mean she was all into it… into me. And I had only one thought in my mind the whole time…" Steve said before pausing.

"What was it?" Bucky bit out with a growl.

"That she fucking wasn't you…" Steve admitted. Bucky's eyes went wide before Steve's lips crashed into his. Bucky could taste the alcohol on his breath, as Steve's tongue entered his mouth. He tried to move his arms but Steve's hand tighten even more around his wrist. Bucky let out a light whimper, surprised on how good it felt Steve broke the kiss, kissing down Bucky's neck, biting down on the pulse point, as Bucky moaned out, not used to the roughness.

"Steve…" He said a slight panic to his voice at being pinned down. He never liked it since that accident.

"Please don't tell me to stop…" Steve begged softly. On hearing those words, and the way Steve said them, it made Bucky relax. He knew that if he asked Steve, if it got too much, Steve would stop, even if he didn't want to. Bucky licked his now dry lips before he spoke.

"One fucking fight and you go running to some whore to fuck…" Bucky purred out. He knew he was playing with fire as he felt Steve's hands tighten around his wrist so hard it nearly hurt for just a second. Steve pulled back looking into Bucky's face, seeing hurt, anger, jealousy all mixed into his lust filled eyes.

"You're the one who kicked me out…" Steve said with a little growl.

"Yet here you are…" Bucky purred before he jerked his hips up, pushing them against Steve's. Steve's hand left Bucky's wrist, going into his hair, pulling Bucky into a hard passionate kiss. Bucky's hands went to pull Steve's shirt over his head, causing them to break the kiss as he pulled it off.

Bucky felt his sleep shorts pulled roughly off his hips, before they were slowly pulled down his legs, Steve taking extra care not to hurt Bucky's still healing leg. Steve kissed the inside of Bucky's good leg, causing Bucky to let out a gasp of pleasure. Steve smile before biting down on Bucky's thigh.

"Fuck, Steve!" Bucky gasped.

"Mine…" Steve growled out before he moved back up Bucky's body. Steve reached over, pulling a bottle of K-Y jelly out. Bucky bit his lip in anticipation. Steve leaned in, to whisper in his ear.

"You want my cock buried inside?" Steve asked. Bucky nodded. "I want you to ask for it…" He told Bucky before biting his ear.

"Shit… Steve…" Bucky said, his tongue going to wet his lips. Bucky felt Steve's hand in his hair before he grabbed a fistful, forcing Bucky to look right into his eyes.

"Say it…" Steve growled. Bucky couldn't help but pant at that.

"I want you to fuck me…" Bucky said. Steve smiled at that, moving to pull off his jeans.

"Details…" Steve demanded. Bucky bit his lip. He wasn't used to Steve being so demanding, but damn was he extremely turned on at that moment.

"I want your cock…" Bucky said, his hand reaching out, stroking Steve's rock hard cock. He wasn't the only one completely turned on. "...buried so deep inside me that I can't think straight…" Bucky heard a growl form in Steve's throat. "...fucking me so hard." Steve's lips crashed down against his as Bucky heard the familiar sound of a cap popping open. He moaned at the feeling of slicked up fingers starting to open him up just a little too roughly. It felt perfect today. Bucky threw his head back, moaning out, pushing down, fucking himself on Steve's fingers. Steve chuckled.

"So that's how you want it…" Steve said before quickly removing his fingers, to Bucky's disappointment. Steve grabbed Bucky's good leg, placing it on his shoulder, opening Bucky up to him. Bucky could feel the slick tip of Steve's cock against him.

"Beg…" Steve told him. Bucky growled out.

"Stop being a prick and fuck me already…." Bucky said. Steve pulled back a little. Bucky's hands went to rub his face in frustration. "Just fuck me…. please," He begged. With that, Steve pushed into him in one quick motion, burying himself completely in his lover.

"Steve!" Bucky screamed in pleasure mixed with the perfect amount of pain as Steve thrusted into him hard and fast, knowing he wasn't going to last long, not after everything.

Steve's fingers wrapped around Bucky's cock as he thrusted, pumping Bucky's cock.

"God… Steve…" Bucky moaned, hands going into Steve's hair before pulling Steve into a hungry kiss. Steve broke the kiss, kissing down to Bucky's neck before biting hard. Bucky moaned out, throwing his head back in pleasure. Steve could feel Bucky tighten almost painfully around him as Bucky came apart around him.

Steve fucked through Bucky's orgasm, before quickly finding his own release, coming hard and heavy into his lover. Steve dropped Bucky's leg before quickly collapsing onto Bucky, completely spent. Bucky could feel Steve's arms circle around him, pulling him in, incredibly tight.

"Steve?" Bucky said, concern in his voice.

"Don't ever ask me to leave again…" Steve begged him, a little shake to his voice. The sound nearly broke Bucky's heart. He closed his eyes. He knew he would have to eventually. Their relationship was eventually going to have to end. It already had a countdown clock. 7 months. But something in Steve's voice made Bucky want to make it better.

"I'll never ask you to leave…" Bucky lied, wrapping his arms around Steve.\

* * *

Author's notes: Hope you enjoyed. Comments always get me to write faster. I have another chapter in the works, so hopefully I'll post again soon. But just a warning, this is the tamest of the chapter's I'm planning on writing.


	2. Slippery Slope

"Are you ready for this?" Bucky asked, taking a deep breath, attempting to get his nerves under control. He was hating the suit he was wearing, the tie around his neck feeling like a noose. His hands nervously played at the leather seats of the limo, as he tried to work out some of the anxiety he was feeling. He hated these black tie events. Hated how fake it all was. Hated the spotlight, but his father had insisted. Bucky knew asking his father to leave him alone was too much, but he had kept the other parts of the bargain in place, so he decided to give his father this one concession. He needed to work through his fears anyway.

A familiar hand slipped into his, causing Bucky to relax, pulling him from his thoughts.

"I'm sorry to make you do this… but it means a lot to me," Bucky said.

"It's fine, dove. You know I have your backs," Peggy said to him with her slight British accent. "Besides, you bought me a killer dress. You're taking me to a fancy party and all I gotta do is pretend to be into a hot guy on my arm. Big sacrifice…" She said with a smile, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. He chuckled.

"You might have to do a little bit more than just be on my arm," Bucky teased her. She let out a playful laugh.

"I know. I'm willing to do just about anything but sleep with you… and that could be negotiated, with the right incentive," She joked back with a wink. "I'd even let you call me Steve." She smiled when she saw the blush. He pushed at her.

"You can be so mean sometimes," Bucky complained. "But really, just a few kisses is all I need."

"I've kissed worse. Hell, I've dated worse, Bucky," She told him.

"James, for tonight," Bucky reminded her.

"Got it, James," Peggy said. "I just wish…" She said before she stopped herself.

"What is it, Peggy?" he asked her.

"I just wish you didn't have to hide who you truly are. I wish you could just be happy with you..." Peggy told him. Bucky let out a sigh.

"That's not the way the world works sometimes…" Bucky told her, with a sad smile. The limo stopped and Bucky took a deep breath.

"You ready to put those acting skills to the test?" Bucky asked.

"No, but I am ready to spend a nice evening with my friend, and kiss for a camera." Bucky smiled, before getting out the limo. His leg was still weak, hurting as he put pressure on it, but he knew it would get him through the evening. He went around to the other side of the limo, opening the door for Peggy, as she stepped out with his help, in her killer red cocktail dress, hugging all her curves in all the right places. There were several cameras going off, as Bucky's arm went around her waist, holding her close to him as they posed.

He heard them calling out his name, asking him questions. There was a small part of him that liked the attention but there was a bigger part, that was currently washing over him, that would always hate it. He could feel his anxiety all over now, panic attack slowly starting to form. The flashing of all those lights sending him back to a place he didn't want to go. He felt a hand squeeze his, grounding him. He took a breath, trying to center himself before flashing them a dazzling smile, waving at the cameras.

"Mr. Barnes? Who's your date?" He heard a female reporter ask. He looked at Peggy with almost loving eyes before turning back to the reporter.

"A friend," he said with a wink.

"How are you recovering since your time in Afghanistan?" One asked.

"I was in Iraq. Check your facts next time…" Bucky snapped back.

"What have you been up to since then?" another asked.

"Recovering from nearly getting blown up," He said curtly, seeing the shocked looks on the reporters faces. He started to walk up the carpet, hoping to get away from the flashing, the questions, the scrutiny. He knew they were curious. He'd been quiet for nearly 3 years. Before that, he had already made a name for himself as a party boy, even if he only been 18 at the time. No one said no to a Barnes.

"Mr. Barnes? Care to comment on the rumors that you've spent the past 6 months living with a Marine by the name of Steven Rogers?" A man asked. Bucky smile slightly. Finally, someone asked the right question. He stopped and turned to the man, Peggy still on his hip.

"What about the rumors?" Bucky asked like he hadn't heard them before.

"They say that you're more than just friends?" Bucky let out a laugh.

"I think our girlfriends would have something to say about that…" Bucky said, before letting out a breath, like he was kicking himself for saying something he didn't mean to.

"Girlfriends?" The reporter asked with a smile, looking at Peggy. Bucky leaned in to whisper into Peggy's ear.

"You ready?" He asked her. After a time, she nodded. Bucky sighed, acting like this wasn't anything but exactly what he wanted.

"Yes. Margaret Carter and I have been dating privately for the past few months."

"How did you meet?" the reporter quickly asked.

"The war. We were stationed together. Guess your rumors are correct. I am dating a teammate… just happen to be the wrong one,' Bucky told him, kissing her cheek.

"What about Steven Rogers?"

"The man who saved my life? What about him?" He asked.

"So you are denying the rumors that you two are lovers?" The reporter pressed. Bucky smiled at that.

"Margaret? Are Steve and I lovers?" He asked, nuzzling into her hair.

"I'm not much into sharing," She said with a smile. "Have you been to war?" She asked the reporter. The reporter looked at her curiously.

"No," he admitted.

"Then you have no clue what it's like to put your life in someone else's hands. To build that kind of relationship you have to for your team, knowing they have your back, no matter what. You become close to them in a way that is indescribable. It makes you do anything to protect your team, to do what it takes to get your job done. Don't mistake closeness and duty with love..." She snapped at him.

"Hey, Peggy that's enough…" Bucky whispered to her. Peggy shook her head, turning back to Bucky.

"Sorry, she can get quite passionate about her team, her friends," Bucky said with a smile. "To answer your question. We are not lovers… we are friends. Teammates. He saved my life. Who wouldn't give the person who saved his life a place to stay?" He said with a shrug, before walking off with a confident stride.

They walked into the party, looking at all the people talking to each other. Someone came up and offered them both a glass of champagne and Bucky quickly took two, handing one to Peggy before downing the one he had.

"You ok there?" Peggy asked, worried about another panic attack.

"It's just getting harder to deny the truth…" Bucky muttered.

"Then why keep doing it?" Peggy asked. Bucky sighed.

"I'm not sure anymore," Bucky said kissing her cheek. "I need to use the restroom." he lied, before walking off. It wasn't his first time here so he knew where to find a quiet place. He quickly headed up some stairs, as people started to thin out. He made his way to a balcony, already needing some fresh air. He could see that no one else was there, still too early in the evening for people needing a break. He stood there, taking in some deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves. His hand went into his pocket, pulling out his cell.

He noticed the flash of red from the corner of his eye, knowing that Peggy had followed him. He turned to look at her, motioning for her to join him as he unlocked his phone and placed a call. The phone rang as he felt Peggy wrap her arms around his middle, trying to comfort him. The phone kept ringing before going to voicemail. Bucky sighed, clicking the phone off.

"He's not answering. Maybe he's mad," Bucky concluded.

"Why would he be mad?" She asked him.

"For doing this… playing this part," Bucky said with a sigh.

"He knew what he was signing up for with you. He still did it…" Peggy argued.

"It's still not fair to him," Bucky said, leaning into the comfort his friend was offering.

"I made a deal with my father…" Bucky said. "To go to college in a few months. Start business school. Chicago. I started my admissions just last week."

"Have you told Steve?" Peggy asked.

"I haven't told anyone until now…" He said, taking another deep breath, holding his panic attack at bay. He could feel her hands on his back, soothing him.

"You should tell him," Peggy said. "He might be ok with it, hell he may even go with you."

"I don't know..." Bucky said.

"I don't think you even know what you want," Peggy told him. "But that's something you need to figure out, sooner than later," With that, his phone began to ring. Bucky picked it up, seeing Steve's face on the phone.

"See, not mad," Peggy said. Bucky nodded as he answered the phone.

"Hey…" He said.

"Sorry. Was taking a shower," Steve explained.

"It's fine..." Bucky said in a shaky voice.

"Too much?" Steve asked.

"Just a little. If it wasn't for Peggy I don't think I would have made it out of the limo," Bucky admitted feeling the panic.

"Just breathe," he heard Steve tell him. Bucky did just that. "Take your time, in… out… slowly," He said, his voice calming Bucky down. "Better?" Steve asked.

"Yes," Bucky said, feeling himself get a little more under control.

"Do I need to come get you?" Steve offered. Bucky smiled.

"Not anymore. I think I got this now," Bucky admitted.

"Ok, go make a few rounds, talk with some fancy people, have a few drinks and bring our girl home before 10," Steve told him.

"A curfew, really?" Bucky said.

"The world can't handle the kind of mischief you two will get up too otherwise," Steve said with a laugh. "If it gets too much again…" he said seriously.

"I'll come home," Bucky said.

"That's all I ask," Steve said before Bucky hung up the phone.

"Feeling better?" Peggy asked.

"Yeah, but I still need a drink," He told her. She laughed.

"I'm sure the bar can supply you with something stronger than champagne."

"Sounds like a plan," Bucky said as they made it back to the gathering. Peggy quickly helped get him to the bar and let him have a drink and a refill before they started making their rounds, playing the happy couple, making his presence known. He was getting many questions about his absence from society and was happy when Peggy was able to help him with some of them, getting the pressure off him. After some more pleasantries and another drink, he made his way to his father, to check in, hoping he didn't have to stay much longer. He was starting to feel the panic rise up as more people filtered in.

"James," His father said smoothly.

"Father," Bucky answered back.

"Do you remember the Holdman's?" His father said, motioning to an older gentleman and his son.

"Yes," Bucky said with a smile, offering his hand to the older gentleman. "If I remember right, Benjamin was a year ahead of me at Dalton," Bucky said as he shook his hand.

"I believe so," Benjamin said with a smile.

"Benjamin's set to graduate from Princeton in just a few months, high honors," His father beamed. Bucky took a breath, knowing his father was trying to rub that into his face.

"Wow, Congratulations," Bucky said, with a fake smile.

"Yeah, I heard you joined the Army or something?" Benjamin asked.

"Marines. You know me. Wanted to get out there, and serve my country…"

"I can respect that," Benjamin said with a smile before his eyes moved to look at Peggy who was silent at Bucky's side. "And who is this lovely lady you managed to bring tonight?" Benjamin asked, with a flirty smile.

"Peggy…I mean Margaret Carter," She said offering her hand.

"I like Peggy," Benjamin said with a wink. Bucky couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"So where did the two of you run off to earlier tonight?" His father piped back in. Bucky took a breath. He was hoping his father hadn't noticed that. He couldn't get that lucky. Bucky opened up his mouth to say something, but nothing was coming to his mind. He was feeling closed in again, his brain not working, panic in his chest. He felt Peggy's hand on his back, trying to ground him again.

"Do we need to go?" Peggy whispered into his ear. Bucky closed his eyes, trying to breathe.

"What's wrong?" His father asked. Peggy looked at George Barnes, before looking at the other two men. They took the hint backing off.

"Panic attack," She said softly to his father.

"From what?" His father barked. Peggy just ignores the man.

"Breathe in and out... " Peggy told him. It took him a moment before his mind stops spinning and he could feel himself being pulled out of it.

"I need some air," Bucky said before walking off. He could hear Peggy talking to his father, most likely giving him a piece of her mind. He quickly made it up the stairs to his hiding spot on the balcony. He slid to the floor, back against a wall as he fought to get his breathing under control.

"Why don't you just leave?" Bucky heard Benjamin ask him. Did the man follow him?

"My father wanted me to start showing my face again," He said with a shaky breath.

"Was the war that bad?" He asked. Bucky shrugged.

"I never liked being social before I ran away. I joined the Marines to get away from this. War was easier for me than this," He said with a light chuckle. "But my accident didn't help much..." He admitted.

"Your father said your car was blown up with you inside."

"Yeah… something like that," Bucky answered.

"Must have been scary." Benjamin mused. "Hey, I might have something to help you with… your anxiety."

"Like what?" Bucky asked.

"This stays between us…" Benjamin asked.

"If this does," Bucky said motioning to himself.

"Sure," He said before pulling his coat open, pulling out a small bag with some pills from the pocket.

"What's that?" Bucky asked.

"Something to help with anxiety. You're not the only one who doesn't like the spotlight. It really takes the edge off," Benjamin admitted. Bucky looked at the man before him. He looked cool as a cucumber, no shakes, nothing.

"You on that?" Bucky asked, eyes on the bag. Benjamin nodded.

"It's called MDMA. It's a street drug. It's kind of like valium but easier to get a hold of."

"What's it do to you?" Bucky asked.

"Makes you happy, calms the voices, soothes the attacks." He offered up the bag.

"I'm… not sure…" Bucky said. Benjamin nodded.

"I can respect that." He said before pulling a half pill out. He placed the pill on the table next to Bucky.

"In case you change your mind…" Bucky nodded before he left him to his thoughts. He closed his eyes, taking in some slow breaths. He opened them again looking at the small pill that Benjamin offered him. Maybe he should call Steve, have him come pick him up. Maybe he was just too broken to handle this anymore.

He pulled out his phone, looking at it for a moment. He unlocked it, moving to dial it, his finger resting over Steve's name for just a moment before he locked the phone back. He needed to stop relying on him so much. Steve wasn't always going to be there. He looked back at the pill for another second before he grabbed it and swallowed it quickly.

He sat there for a bit longer, waiting, not sure what he was waiting for. When he heard the balcony open, he looked up, seeing Peggy there. He gave her a sad smile.

"We should go... " Peggy told him. Bucky shook his head.

"I want to try again," He said, already starting to feel the pill take a little of the edge off.

"You sure? No one would fault you for leaving," Peggy offered him. Bucky nodded, starting to stand, straightening his suit as he stood up. She offered him a sad smile. "Let me know if you change your mind…" Peggy said. He nodded to her before taking her hand in his, as she walked with him back to the party.

"Bar?" she asked.

"God, yes…" She took him to the bar and he got himself another drink. He noticed his father glaring at the two of them.

"What did you tell my father?" He asked curiously.

"A lesson on PTSD and anxiety. You never told him what happened… did you?" She asked. Bucky shrugged.

"Didn't see a point to it." She shook her head.

"You two have a strange relationship." She said as she looked him over, seeing he had calmed down. "Are you ready to mingle again?"

"I think so," He said as they made there way around the room, talking with new and familiar faces. Before Bucky realized it, he felt himself start to enjoy being here. It was a strange feeling to Bucky. He never liked being here before. His eyes scanned the crowd for a moment before he found Benjamin talking to some woman. He seemed to notice Bucky's eyes on him, turning to look at him. Bucky gave him a smile and the man just returned it, with a nod. He owed the man something nice for this. Peggy got his attention by pulling at his arm. He looked at her, confused at the glare she was giving him.

"Ahhh What's wrong?" He questioned her.

"I was going to ask you the same thing…" Peggy said.

"What do you mean?" he asked as she pulled his arm, pulling him to a corner of the room, out of earshot of anyone nearby. She looked at him for a moment and he looked right back, confused.

"What did you take?" She asked him. Bucky gave her a shocked look.

"What do you mean? What did I take?" He said.

"No one goes from full panic attack to perfectly ok, that fast. And I can see it in your eyes. This isn't my first rodeo Bucky, I just expected better from you…" She bit out.

"Hey, I... Benjamin offered me something to take the edge off. And It worked…"

"Do you even know what you took? Valium? Molly? Coke? E?" She asked him.

"Does it matter?" Bucky told her. "I feel good…relaxed, the first time all night. I just needed a little help… What gives?" She shook her head, storming off. He watched her go for just a moment before he saw she was heading right to Benjamin.

"Shit…" he said before he quickly chased after her. He watched her drag the man off to talk to him privately, he was thankful for at least that much.

"What did you give him?" he heard her ask once he caught up.

"Peggy… let's go," Bucky begged, knowing they were attracting unwanted attention. "I'm sorry," He said to Benjamin before taking Peggy's arm to pull her away.

"Once he tells me…" Peggy pressed.

"Dude, you're girlfriends a little crazy," Benjamin said. Bucky just chuckled.

"You have no idea," He said before pulling her away. "We are leaving," he said, pushing her through the crowd, trying to get away from the watchful gazes as fast as possible. He wanted this nightmare of an evening to end. Once they were outside, Peggy pulled away from him as she started to walk away from the building, walking away from Bucky.

"Peggy wait up! Where you going?" he said chasing after her.

"Away from you unless you want me to pop you one," She told him.

"And I thought Steve was the hothead…" Bucky said.

"Oh, you have no idea right now," she said as she continued to walk. Bucky followed her until her steps started to slow. Bucky knew she was running out of steam.

"Do you remember why I joined up?" Peggy finally said.

"Ahh… yeah, something about court appointed… that or jail." He said. She stopped walking, to look at Bucky.

"The Marines saved my life Bucky…"

"You've told me that," he said before he took a sharp breath as something clicked. "It was drugs? wasn't it?" He asked her. She nodded. "It… was something MDMA I think… I just wanted it to stop. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"I know you didn't. I never talk about that part of my life. Like I said, the Marines saved my life, everything before that was just a bad memory," she explained.

"Hey, let's go back and get the limo. I'll take you home," Bucky offered. Peggy shook her head.

"I think I'd rather walk right now," She told him. He nodded to her.

"I'll go with you."

"No… I'd rather be alone," She told him. "I'm fine, really. Go home. Drink plenty of water, let Steve help you get that stuff out of your system," She said with a chuckle. "You're about to have an interesting night as well as one hell of a hangover, so be prepared." She told him before she turned to walk.

"Text me when you get home. Let me know you're safe," Bucky told her.

"You do the same," She called back as she walked away.

* * *

On the way home, sitting in the back of the limo, Bucky was starting to fill a little hot under the collar. He started to loosen his tie, to get some relief. He heard his phone go off before he quickly looked at the text from Steve.

 **Steve: You ok?**

Bucky felt a shiver run down his back. He wondered if Peggy contacted Steve during all this. He wondered if he would be mad. He unlocked the phone before messaging back.

 **Bucky: On my way home.**

 **Steve: Good, was getting worried.**

Bucky let out a breath. Steve was just worried about him.

 **Steve: How did it go?**

 **Bucky: Disastrous, I'll be home in 10**

 **Steve: See you in 10**

Bucky took a breath before a smile slipped on his lips thinking about Steve sitting at home waiting for him. 10 minutes couldn't come fast enough.

When the limo dropped him off, he got out and quickly made his way to his apartment. He messed with his keys for a second before the door opened, and there was Steve, standing in front of him, in just a pair of sleep pants. Bucky smiled at him.

"Hello there, lover," He said before pulling Steve into his arms, kissing him to the other man's surprise. Steve pulled him into the apartment, not breaking the kiss as he closed the door. Bucky's hands went to grab Steve's ass, causing Steve to yelp, breaking the kiss.

"What's gotten into you?" Steve asked.

"I just feel good," Bucky answered. "Want to feel better with you."

"I thought you said tonight was disastrous, this doesn't look that bad," Steve argued.

"Well it got better the moment you opened that door," Bucky said and Steve chuckled.

"I guess mine did too," Steve said, before pulling Bucky back into a kiss. Bucky's hands slipped all over Steve's chest, exploring his body as Steve started to guide Bucky to their bed. Once they had gotten closer, Bucky quickly broke the kiss before pushing on Steve's chest, causing him to fall onto the bed, to Steve's shock. Bucky wasn't normally this aggressive. Bucky slipped quickly between Steve's legs, still hanging off the bed, pulling off Steve's sleep pants quickly.

"Jesus, Bucky. What's got you so wound up?" Steve asked as Bucky's hand wrapped around Steve's hard cock.

"You," Bucky said. Steve groaned out when he felt Bucky's lips wrap around his cock.

"Shit…" Steve cursed, his hands in Bucky's hair before Bucky took him in completely. Bucky worked on him, hard and fast. Steve groaned out before his hands tighten in Bucky's hair, pulling him off his cock with a little pop.

"Why?" Bucky asked, looking up at Steve.

"I want to be inside you when I come," Steve explained. Steve sat up, pulling Bucky off the floor to the bed and moved so they both laid on it. Bucky pulled him into a quick, sloppy kiss. Steve chuckled.

"So eager," Steve said, smiling, looking right into Bucky's lust blown eyes. Bucky could see Steve blink, as Bucky panted. Bucky watched as confusion, recognition and then anger slipped into those eyes.

"You're high," Steve told him. Bucky shuttered before closing his eyes, turning his face to look away from Steve. Steve took his chin, making Bucky look at him. He knew shame slipped into those baby blues.

"What did you take?"

"Something called MDMA," Bucky supplied,

"Ecstasy, that explains it." Bucky looked a little shocked.

"I took Ecstasy?" He asked confused. Steve pulled back, trying to keep his anger in check.

"You don't even know what you took?" He asked.

"He said it would help with my anxiety. It did…"

"He?" Steve asked.

"Some, old friend, from school. He saw I was having trouble and offered me something to take the edge off."

"You were having so much trouble that you took drugs from someone you hadn't seen in what? 4 years?" Steve said, upset. "You should have called me…."

"I know, I just… I just wanted it to stop." Bucky breathed out. Steve nearly felt his heartbreak at those words. "Can we just go back to the part where you were kissing me. It felt nice…" Bucky asked.

"You're high," He argued.

"And you're sexy," Bucky said, leaning in to kiss Steve again. Steve wanted to deny him. Wanted to push him off him for how stupid he was acting, but he knew he could never say no to Bucky. Steve allowed the kiss, before kissing back slowly. They kissed for a bit before Steve broke the kiss.

"We are going to have a nice… long talk when you come down," Steve told him.

"Whatever you want, lover. As long as you fuck me," Bucky begged. Steve couldn't help but let out a groan at that, shaking his head.

"I should deny you this."

"Remember, talking is for later," Bucky said, nuzzling into Steve's neck, before nipping at the pulse point. Steve let out a chuckle.

"So no talking at all?" Steve teased, moving to kiss Bucky's shoulder.

"None whatsoever," Bucky said back.

"And how are you going to stop me from talking?" Steve asked.

"How about getting those pretty little lips around my cock? I think that might help," Bucky purred out. Steve let out a groan.

"Is that what you want? Your cock in my mouth? Sucking you off?" Steve purred into Bucky's ear. Bucky felt a shiver go down his spine. Bucky nodded. Steve pulled at Bucky's tie, pulling the knot off before sliding the fabric off Bucky's neck.

"Love the way you look in a suit… But I love seeing you get out of it even more," Steve said before pulling them both up to a sitting position, slipping the jacket off his shoulders, the jacket hitting the floor. Bucky smiled at him as Steve's fingers went to the top button of Bucky's white dress shirt, unbuttoning it, slowly exposing Bucky's chest to Steve's watchful eyes.

"Gorgeous," Steve moaned out.

"Still yapping," Bucky teased. Steve chuckled before pulling the dress shirt off, moving to attack Bucky's neck.

"Fuck! Steve! So good..." Bucky moaned out. Steve's fingers moved to Bucky's slacks, unbuttoning them before he quickly pulled them off Bucky's hips and down his legs. Steve looked over Bucky's now naked body, before pushing him down to the bed. Bucky could feel Steve's lips on his shoulders, sliding down his chest, feeling exceptional on his overly heated skin. When Bucky felt Steve's hands on his hips, Bucky couldn't help but arch closer to the touch. Steve chuckled, low and sweet on Bucky's ears, and Bucky had to bite his lip not to come.

"Haven't even started and you're so hard. So turned on. I wish I could say it was just me…" Steve said. It only took Bucky a few seconds to forget the slight bitterness in Steve's voice when he felt Steve's lips around his cock, taking him down completely.

"Fuck! Steve!" Bucky yelled. He tried to thrust into that warm heat, but Steve's hands on his hips held him in place, as Steve slowly slipped up and down. Bucky looked up to watch Steve devour him, taking him in and out of that hot, wet mouth. His eyes lock with Steve's, seeing heat and desire in those eyes, focused on him, always so damn focused. Bucky moaned out.

One of Steve's hands left his hips, sliding up to his mouth, two fingers brushing against Bucky's lips. Bucky kissed at the digits, before taking both into his mouth, licking and sucking on them, mimicking what Steve was doing to his cock. He felt Steve groan around him, causing Bucky to push just a little into that heat.

When Steve's finger's left his mouth, Bucky whimpered at the loss. He quickly forgot about it when he felt those fingers rubbing against his ass. Bucky's eyes rolled back when he felt that first digit slips slowly inside him.

"Fuck!" Bucky moaned, loving the feeling of being filled by Steve. He arched his hips when that finger found what Steve was searching for. Bucky called out Steve's name. Bucky's hands quickly went into Steve's hair, pulling at it, causing Steve to moan, sending another spike of pleasure through Bucky.

"God! Steve," Bucky moaned when Steve's finger brushed against that spot, sending more pleasure. It was so good… almost too good. Bucky's fingers tighten in Steve's hair as Bucky started to slowly fuck into that warm sweet mouth. Steve allowed him as he moved to slip both fingers in, driving them both into his prostate.

"I'm… Steve… I'm…" Was all Bucky could manage to get out before he started to come down Steve's hot and willing throat. Bucky could feel Steve swallowing around the tip of his cock, taking everything, making Bucky nearly cry at how good it felt.

Once Bucky relaxed into the bed, boneless and sated, Steve slipped off his cock with a sinful little pop. Bucky couldn't help but shiver. Steve moved up the bed, laying down on his back, before pulling Bucky into his arms. Bucky felt safe once those arms wrapped around him. He felt Steve kiss the top of his head.

"Sleep," he heard Steve tell him, to Bucky's confusion.

"But, you?" Bucky asked.

"I'm fine… sleep," Steve said with a soft but firm tone, leaving no room for argument. Bucky nodded, not sure how he felt about the slight rejection he was feeling, his mind swimming.

"Sleep," Steve reminded him, hand going to play with Bucky's hair. Bucky closed his eyes at the touch, his exhaustion and sated body quickly succumbing to Steve's words.

* * *

Steve woke up feeling the warmth of his lover beside him, deep in sleep. He looked at the clock, 8:30. Steve sighed before laying there for a bit, listening to his breathing, shallow but steady. He wondered if the drugs had ample time to work out of his lover's system. That thought made his anger rise. He took a breath to calm himself. He needed to stay calm today.

He nudged Bucky a little bit, getting a groan from his lover. He nudged him again and Bucky just turned over in his sleep, away from the annoying movements.

"You get until I'm done making breakfast," Steve said softly, not getting a response. Steve got out of bed, pulling on his sleep pants before going into the kitchen. Steve put on a pot of coffee before pulling out everything he needed for breakfast. Eggs, bacon, and sausage, quickly busying himself, trying to come to terms with what happened last night. Trying to get his thoughts in order, his anger in check. Yelling would accomplish nothing. When the cooking was done, he moved everything to the table, getting Bucky a cup of coffee, and a glass of water.

Steve walked into the bedroom, finding Bucky still curled into the blanket, now hugging his pillow. Steve took a calming breath, before quickly pulling the blanket off Bucky's naked body.

"Rise and shine, buttercup," Steve told him in a loud but not too loud voice. Enough to annoy. Bucky groaned out, curling in on himself.

"Steve… stop being a dick…" Bucky growled, holding his head.

"I said I would wait until you came down, your down. Get your ass up. Get some Advil and water. Get your ass to the table. I got breakfast and coffee waiting. We need to talk." Bucky grumbled at this, throwing his pillow at Steve before he sat up glaring. Steve just stood there, pillow in his grasp, his expression emotionless, unmoving. He wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Fine…" Bucky said before slowly slipping out of the bed, moving past Steve, heading to the bathroom. Steve couldn't help but smile as he threw the pillow back on the bed.

Steve was waiting for him at the table when Bucky left the bathroom wearing a pair of boxers and one of Steve's old shirts. It hung off him just a little, Bucky being a little smaller than Steve.

'Damn but he did look sexy in my clothes.' Steve thought. He wondered for a moment if Bucky did it on purpose, to calm Steve's anger or if he was just looking for anything to cover himself up with. He could see the shame and the pain in his lover's eyes. It nearly broke Steve's heart but he knew he couldn't show it. Not right now. Not until after they talked.

"Sit," Steve told him a little too loudly. Bucky winced but did as he asked.

"I know you're mad, but you don't have to yell," Bucky said.

"Oh, you know better… this isn't yelling. Eat," He ordered. Bucky nodded, before taking a piece of bacon and chewing on it slowly. He saw the coffee, quickly drinking it.

"I would drink some water too…" He said motioning to the cup on the table. Bucky nodded, before moving to drink half the glass. There was an uncomfortable silence as they ate. By the time they were half done, Bucky couldn't handle it anymore.

"Look, Steve, I know you're pissed…"

"You have no idea," Steve said in an eerily calm voice. Steve could see Bucky visibly shiver.

"I… made a mistake. I should have called you… or at least got out of there. I don't know. I just... wanted to handle things on my own for once." Bucky said looking away from Steve.

"And your way of handling things was to take illegal drugs?" Steve asked.

"Not my brightest idea, I'll give you that… but it worked," Bucky said. At that, the facade broke and Steve let his anger show.

"Does that mean you're going to do it again!?" He snapped. Bucky looked up at Steve.

"I don't want to lie," Bucky started. "But I don't know. I liked being able to handle it on my own and I liked the way it made me feel…" He said. Steve closed his eyes. He took a breath, taking in the information, getting his thoughts in order. He opened them, looking at Bucky.

"I don't care if you want to experiment with drugs. Occasionally. Recreationally. We can talk about that. Do it safely. But that is not what happened last night. You didn't take them because you wanted too. You took them because you felt you needed too. They were a crutch, an easy fix to a problem that you have." Steve told him. He took a breath, feeling his anger wan. "The fact that you liked it. That's when we have problems. That's when people get addicted…" Steve told him, trying to keep the memories at bay.

"Steve. I'm not your mother…" Bucky said softly. Steve closed his eyes holding back a tear before he nodded, opening them back up to look at Bucky's concerned eyes.

"I know you're not Buck. But… I can't have it in my life. Not as a crutch. Not as an escape from your problems. It's just too damn… familiar," Steve admitted. Bucky nodded.

"I can respect that. Ok. No more drugs, unless it's prescribed by a doctor," He said with a sigh. "I won't make you go through that again…" Steve let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"Thank you. That means… a lot to me," Steve admitted. Bucky smiled.

They both quickly finished breakfast. Once they were done, Bucky went to go take a shower. Soon after, Steve heard a knock on the door. Steve quickly went to put on a shirt, before going to answer the door, to find George Barnes.

"I need to speak to James," George said, looking pissed.

"He's busy," Steve told the older man, making sure to stand in the doorway so he couldn't get in. "Come back another time, when you're calmer," Steve challenged.

"Are you denying me access to my son, you little punk?" George growled.

"No, I'm just telling you not right now. Bucky had a bad night last night and I don't want you to make it worse," Steve told him.

"Oh, I know what kind of night he had. I had to witness most of it to my horror. That's why I'm here, it's what I need to talk to him about," George admitted.

"Oh, if that's the case, then don't come back," Steve said, going to close the door, but George put his arm on the door pushing it back open. He was strong for an older guy. Steve could have closed the door if he wanted to, but he didn't want to hurt him.

"Listen here you, punk," George threaten. "I know who you are. I know what you're doing here. I know what you're hoping for. But hear this. It's never going to happen. And I'm not going to be lectured by one of my son's little distractions…"

"Yeah, you need to go now!" Steve barked at him.

"Hmm, It's only a matter of time before he gets bored of you anyway. He'll move onto better things. Tick. tock," George said cooly, before moving out of the way of the door, straightening his suit. "Let James know I stopped by. I expect a call before the day ends to talk about his behavior last night," The man said before walking away. Steve just stared at his retreating back in shock.

* * *

Notes: This wasn't even the one I set to be the second one. I got inspired. Have another one done, just needs editing but I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow, so maybe next week? Have another 2 started as well. I'm quite enjoying this little playground my brain.

I hope you enjoy. Stayed up way too late getting it done! Comments keep me going!


	3. 5 Years Gone

James Buchanan Barnes loved the familiar beat of the club that surrounded him. It had been a while. He smiled as he was handed a shot, his eyes opening back up, looking at his co-workers. They rose their shot glasses, so he raised his as well.

"To the man of the hour," Tony Stark said, nodding to Bucky, making Bucky smile. "If not for his quick thinking, we would have been out a shit ton of money!" Tony said, as his co-workers cheered, all of them knocking back their shots. Bucky loved the familiar burn as it slipped down his throat. The waitress quickly came back with another round, Tony slipping enough money into her pocket to keep the drinks flowing. Bucky shook his head as Tony flirted with the waitress, as Bucky took another shot.

Tony smiled as the waitress left, turning to Bucky. "I still don't see how you did it, Alexander Pierce is a tough nut to crack…" Tony told him. Bucky just smiled.

"It's my secret Tony," Bucky told him.

"Yeah, I'm sure daddy had something to do with this as well," Tony snide, even in this celebratory atmosphere, Tony couldn't get over the fact his father was the reason he got the job at the firm. It wasn't Bucky's idea, his father stepped in behind Bucky's back. He almost turned down the job, but his boss, Fury, talked him into it anyway. Fury was trying to give him the opportunity to prove himself, despite his father. Fury must have sensed something in him, because that lit a fire under Bucky's ass, which got him to land one of the hardest accounts, in only two months, under the watchful eyes of his mentor, Tony Stark.

"Doesn't matter how I got in the door, Tony, it only matters what I can do for the company..." He told him with a smirk. "And that big fat bonus we are all getting," Bucky reminded him. At that Tony face turned into a full-blown smile.

"Guess you're right, Barnes!" Cheers all around. Bucky smiled, feeling the pats hit his back before he excused himself, telling them he had to take a piss. He left the table, heading through the club, going to the bathroom. He quickly found an empty stall before going in, locking it. He sighed. He didn't like the attention, but he knew it was part of the game. He took a breath, trying to steady his nerves. He pulled a small container out of his pocket, knowing it would help him. He dumped a little of the powder on his hand, before he inhaled it, repeating the process for the other nose. He rubbed his face, brushing off any excess, waiting a few minutes for the drugs to hit his system, that familiar euphoria going through his veins. He was ready to face the world again.

He quickly came back to the table, finding a shot waiting for him.

"You're lagging behind, Barnes," Tony challenged. Bucky shook his head before taking the shot, getting a laugh from his co-workers.

"Hello, ladies," Tony said, to a few girls, barely old enough to drink, as they walked passed them. Tony flashed them his most flirty smile. They smiled back, interested. Bucky rolled his eyes. 'Here he goes again.'

Bucky watched as Tony flirted with three girls at once, impressed, but not his cup of tea. He looked around the club, seeing some interesting prospects for him tonight, but he knew he wouldn't be able to do much, with his mentor so close. He felt the hand slip into his hair and he turned to see one of the girls who had been flirting with Tony there, pressing her body close to him. He looked into her clear blue eyes, her blonde hair framing her face. His breath hitched, her eyes so familiar. He felt that dull ache inside him, the one he had been trying to suppress for so long, come back with a vengeance.

"Figured blonde was your thing," He heard Tony say with a chuckle.

'You have no idea…' Bucky thought.

"Name's Tiffeni," She told him.

'Of course, it is…' he thought.

"Heard you were the reason we are all celebrating," She said, picking up one of the shots, putting it between her lips, hollowing her cheeks before she downed it sinfully. Despite himself, he felt his cock twitch at her actions, not sure if it was from the drugs or the thought of those pretty lips wrapped around his cock. He could always pretend.

"Something like that," He said, his voice a little husky now, their eyes locking again, those blue eyes just sucking him in. Why did she have to have that color?

"Let's go dance," She practically moaned into his ear, pulling him away from the table. He saw Tony's wink before she dragged him out to the dance floor. This wasn't his thing, but fuck it, it been too long and the way she ground up to him on the dance floor felt nice, even if it didn't feel right. They danced a few songs before she told him she was thirsty. He smiled at her before going to the bar. He stood there for a moment, waiting on the bartender before ordering his drinks. He felt someone slip in behind him, not paying much attention, the bar pretty packed.

"Hello, Bucky…" He heard behind him. Bucky's eyes went wide, feeling a wave of pure pleasure settling into his now rock hard cock. Bucky took a breath, turning to look into the most perfect blue eyes he'd ever seen. Ones he hadn't seen in nearly 5 years.

"Steve…"

* * *

Steve Rogers was having a shitty day. He'd been recently hired out to protect some brat, some politician's son that had gotten a couple of death threats. Things were going well until he witnessed the brat getting handsy with a girl, not understanding what the word no meant. He didn't mean to break the brat's nose, but he couldn't just sit there as he harassed someone.

Natasha nearly ripped him a new one when his father came down, wanting Steve's blood. He watched as she skillfully resolved the situation, but he knew, losing this contract would hurt them. He sighed from his seat, as the father left, and Natasha closed the door to her office.

"I'm sorry, Nat," Steve told him. He had messed up, again. He wasn't sure why she kept giving him chances.

"Don't be. I would have decked him too," Natasha said with a smile. Steve let out a chuckle. "But seriously, Steve. You need to find a better way to keep that temper under control," Natasha offered him.

"Yeah, yeah I know."

"You're one of the best men I have. I don't want to have to let you go, but I will," Natasha warned. Steve nodded. Natasha let out a sigh.

"Go out. Have some fun. Get yourself laid. That always seems to calm you down," Natasha said with a smile. He let out a laugh.

"Yeah, I might just do that…"

* * *

Steve wasn't in the club for a few minutes before he noticed the men, around the table, celebrating. It wasn't hard with how loud they were being. Steve's eyes scanned over the table when the cheer erupted. He felt his heart nearly stop when he saw him there. James. Buchanan. Barnes. Bucky.

It had been nearly 5 years since he laid eyes on the man. Since that night he left, that night full of screams, of both pleasure and anger, mixed together in his mind as the memories washed over him. He downed his drink, before getting the bartender's attention for another one.

He watched Bucky. He was looking drop dead gorgeous in his three-piece suit. He wondered for just a second if it was designer, letting out a chuckle, knowing if his father had anything to do with it, it would be. He watched as Bucky took some shots, quickly excusing himself. Steve wanted to follow him. Wanted to talk to him but what was he going to say to him. That the way they left things were shitty. That it took him nearly a year to pick himself up after that.

He turned back to the bar when he heard his drink getting refilled. He should just ignore him or leave. There was plenty of places to get wasted in this city.

He stared at his drink for a little bit, willing himself not to look again, but he couldn't resist the temptation that was entirely Bucky. He turned just in time to see the blonde, cozying up to Bucky. He felt the anger well up in the pit of his stomach. How dare she throw herself at him like that, when Bucky was his.

He took a deep breath, trying to get himself under control. Bucky was never really his. He knew that.

He looked at the rest of the table, knowing they were watching Bucky. Steve knew what Bucky was doing. It wasn't the first time he pretends to be straight to not out himself but it was still hard to watch.

He watched as Bucky took her out to the dance floor, watched as they danced if you could call it that. For a moment, he wished he was the one rubbing up against Bucky, feeling himself getting hard.

"Fuck," He muttered to himself, turning away from the show in front of him. He needed to leave, while he still had the strength to do so. He downed his drink, shaking his head no when the bartender offered to refill it. He turned to leave when he bumped into a woman at the bar.

"Sorry," He told her.

"Where are you going in such a hurry, sugar?" She smiled at him, looking him up and down. It didn't escape his notice. He looked her over too, if it had been any other night he might have been interested, but not right now.

"Maybe another time, doll," he told her, flashing her a smile before he saw Bucky make his way through the crowd, heading to the bar. Steve couldn't keep his eyes off him.

"I see," He heard her say with a sigh, noticing were his eyes were. "Good luck," She said, walking away.

"Fuck," He cursed again before his body moved against his better judgment, sliding in beside Bucky. He could smell Bucky's cologne, and even after all this time, it made him harder. He knew he was going to regret this but he couldn't help himself.

"Hello, Bucky…" he said, his voice thick with lust. He saw the man still before he slowly turned to look at him. Damn… he could look into those baby blues forever.

"Steve…" Bucky said, voice low and husky as Steve watched as Bucky's perfect tongue went to lick his lips. Steve couldn't help but groan. The things he wanted that tongue to do…

He watched as Bucky's eyes washed over with lust. There was a laugh, and Bucky's eyes broke contact with his, glancing quickly over to the table. Bucky looked back nervously like he wasn't sure about something. He turned to the bartender, asking for a pen to Steve's confusion. Bucky pulled out his wallet, pulling a card out, writing on it, before handing it to Steve. Without a word, Bucky picked up his drinks, going back to the table, where the blonde was waiting for him.

Steve ground his teeth as he watched Bucky pull the perky little blonde into his arms, giving her a hard, passionate kiss. He watched as he whispered into the blonde's ear and she practically moaned in his arms. He turned to the table saying something Steve couldn't hear before he grabbed his jacket, and walked away from the table. Bucky refused to look at him as he watched Bucky leave the club, to Steve's confusion.

Steve looked back down at the card still in hand. Bucky's business card. James B Barnes. He flipped it slowly looking at the back of it, as he let out a soft moan. On the back, Bucky had written his address followed by five simple words:

Meet me in one hour.

* * *

'What the fuck am I doing?' Bucky thought to himself as he sat in the cab on the way to his apartment. He knew he shouldn't be doing this but one groan and a flash of those blues on him made Bucky lose his mind. He wanted nothing more than to let Steve bend him over the bar….

Bucky bit his lip, wondering how Tony took his excuse. Personal emergency, which wasn't entirely a lie. It felt like one at the moment. He wondered if Tony had noticed. He was always so eagled eyed, and Bucky had worked so hard on his straight man persona that he didn't want to get outed because of his dick over road his brain, no matter how good the fuck was.

By the time he made it back to his apartment, he was already regretting the invitation. He didn't even know if Steve would follow him. The way he left things with Steve was quite heated. He wouldn't put it past Steve to show up just to kick the shit out of him instead of fucking him.

'Maybe he'll fuck the shit out of you?' Bucky thought as he started to clean up his apartment, trying to calm his nerves. It wasn't entirely dirty, but he needed something to do. He needed to keep his hands busy. About 20 minutes later, Bucky was done, waiting on the couch, regretting his hasty actions. He knew if Steve showed up, he was going to turn him down. He wished he still had Steve's number, to just ask him not to come.

"Shit…" he cursed out, getting up to pace. 'What the fuck was I thinking? I wasn't,' he thought. Wasn't the first time his dick got him into trouble. He started to fidget, his hands going into his pockets, feeling his familiar vice roll around his fingers. He pulled it out, quickly inhaling it, closing his eyes as it started to work over his body, calming him down yet energizing him in that same moment. He's got this.

The knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts. He walked up to the door, looking out, seeing Steve. He took a breath, getting up the courage to turn the man away.

Bucky opened the door. He looked at the man standing in front of him. Steve looked at him, their eyes meeting, feeling the same electricity he felt in the club. His resolve evaporated.

'Fuck it,' he thought before his hand went out, grabbing Steve by his jeans, quickly pulling him into his apartment. Before the door was even closed, Steve's lips crashed into Bucky's all tongue and teeth, Steve's hands in Bucky's hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

Bucky broke the kiss, letting out a moan when he felt his back slam against the nearby wall. Steve's lips slipping down to Bucky's neck, teeth scraping against the pulse point, just where Bucky loved it.

"Fuck!" Bucky screamed out, thrusting his hips into Steves.

"Soon…" Steve growled into his ear. Bucky couldn't stand it. It had been too fucking long…

His hands went to Steve's jeans, popping the button. Steve's hands went to stop him.

"Not yet."

"Fuck that. It's been too long, I need it. I need you, now," Bucky begged, doing all kinds of things to Steve.

"Fuck," Steve growled. He flipped Bucky, shoving his chest against the wall, making Bucky pur. God how Steve missed this.

Bucky nearly screamed when he felt Steve's teeth attacking his neck, rubbing his ass against Steve's hard cock.

"I need it," Bucky panted out and Steve nearly lost it. Steve's hand slipped around Bucky's hips, unbuttoning Bucky's slacks. Bucky let out a loud groan. "Wallet," Bucky panted when he felt his slacks slipping off his hips, exposing his ass to Steve. Steve's hands slipped around Bucky's slacks, finding the wallet, before pulling it out. He quickly opened it, knowing what was in there.

"Always the boy scout," Steve purred, as he pulled the condom and small pack of lube out of the wallet before dropping it to the ground. Bucky turned to look at Steve, their eyes locking as his hand went to Steve's hand, taking the condom away, giving him a heated look. They exchange glances, Bucky sending him a silent plea.

"Are you sure?" Steve asked.

"I want… everything," Bucky told him, before dropping the condom on the floor. Steve's kisses Bucky passionately before breaking it, ripping open the packet with his teeth, spreading a little over his fingers. When Bucky felt Steve's slick fingers rub against his hole, his forehead rested on the wall, the coolness inviting against his flushed skin. Bucky moaned out when he felt the slick digit slip inside him, slowly opening him up.

"God. More. Please," Bucky whined. Steve's finger slipped out for just a second when two slipped in just as quickly. Bucky nearly screamed, loving the familiar feeling of himself being stretched out. He felt the hot breath on his ear.

"God, I love the way you look, taking in my fingers. So hungry for it. My little cock slut. My Bucky," Steve growled. Bucky's head leaned back, resting on Steve's shoulder as Steve leaned down, to kiss Bucky's neck, fucking him with his fingers. Steve's fingers searched for the spot within Bucky that would send him soring.

"Fuck!" Bucky nearly screamed when he brushed up against it.

"There we go," Steve purred into Bucky's ear. Bucky pushed back against his fingers, fucking himself.

"Enough, I'm ready," Bucky told him.

"So demanding," Steve teased him, nipping on his ear, slipping his fingers from Bucky's body.

"Just. Fuck me," Bucky begged, doing all sorts of things to Steve's body. Steve quickly tore open his jeans, slipping his extremely hard cock out, quickly slicking it up with a groan. He rubbed the slicked up tip against Bucky's entrance, hearing Bucky's whimper. Bucky felt a hand on his hip, holding on as he lined himself up, before slipping slowly into Bucky's waiting heat.

"Steve," Bucky groaned out, feeling the familiar burn as Steve pushed completely inside him, stretching him just right. Bucky felt Steve's lips on the back of his neck, as Steve's other hand went to his hip.

"God. You're still so... fucking tight," Steve groaned into Bucky's ear.

"Please, just… just…" Bucky panted before Steve shut him up with a roll of his hips.

"Is that what you want?" Steve purred, rolling his hips again.

"Yes!" Bucky nearly screamed as Steve's cock rubbed up against his prostate. After all this time he still knew how to play Bucky's body just right. Bucky felt Steve's hands tighten slightly on his hips before he pulled himself nearly all the way out of Bucky's body before pushing completely back in with a hard, slow thrust. Bucky head leaned back against Steve's shoulder. Bucky could see that Steve's eyes were screwed shut, his teeth clenched as he thrusts in again. He knew Steve was trying to make this last, despite how much he just wanted to come inside him. Bucky groaned, loving the knowledge his body was breaking this man down. Bucky's arm slipped back, going into Steve's hair, before pulling Steve to his lips, kissing him passionately, as Steve thrusts in again. Bucky moaned out, breaking the kiss.

"Just let go, Steve," Bucky breathed out. Steve let out a growl, before his hands tighten, even more, knowing there would be bruises before he pounded back in harder. Bucky's hand quickly went back to the wall, bracing himself as Steve let go, pounding into him hard and fast.

"That's. It. God! Steve! Just like that!" Bucky panted out, spurring Steve on as Steve fucked into that tight heat, quickly losing all control. Bucky could feel Steve's teeth and lips between his shoulder blades, not letting up in his relentless pace, chasing both their orgasms.

"Please," Bucky begged, feeling Steve falter just for s second, knowing how close they both were, before quickly resuming his pace, one hand slipping off his hip, sliding down to wrap around Bucky's leaking cock.

"Steve!" Bucky screamed as Steve's hand slipped up and down Bucky's cock just right. "Fuck!" He screams out one last time before he started to come all over the wall in front of him. Bucky tightens perfectly around Steve's cock, making him moan as he fucked through that tightens for a few more thrusts before quickly coming hard and deep inside his lover. His Bucky. They stood there for a second before Steve felt Bucky's knees buckle, Steve's hand wrapping around Bucky's hips, holding them up, for just a second, feeling his own knees weak at the force of his own orgasm.

Steve's hand went to the wall, helping to slowly lower them to the floor, still tangled in their pants, that they never managed to remove in their haste to fuck. Bucky chuckled before sighing, loving the way Steve managed to do that and keep himself tucked deep within his body. Bucky wasn't complaining. Steve held him close as they laid on the floor, getting their breathing under control.

"I think. That's the best sex I've had. In at least, 5 years," Bucky admitted. Steve smiled, rubbing his chin against Bucky's neck, causing the other man to shiver, feeling the pride well up inside him. When the buzz of Bucky's cell phone interrupted the comfortable silence between them, Bucky groaned out.

"Shit, I should look at that…" He said, thinking it might be Tony checking in on him. He felt Steve's teeth on his shoulder, pulling Bucky even closer to him, not wanting to leave that heat just yet.

"It can wait," Steve told him, kissing his shoulder. Bucky nodded, laying there in Steve's arms as Steve worshiped his back with his tongue. Bucky groaned when he felt Steve finally slip out. He almost whimpered at the loss of it, but he had a feeling this wasn't going to be the last time he felt it tonight.

Bucky slipped off his shoes and pants before getting up, his bottom half exposed as he went to his couch, to retrieve his phone, knowing perfectly well Steve's eyes were watching him from where he still laid on the floor. He looked at the home screen, seeing the message he received, causing the smile, he didn't even know he had, to slip off his face, as he paled a little at it. It was from Alexander Pierce. His client. The one he was able to close when he allowed the man to fuck him last week.

'I want to meet up again.' Who knew that 6 little words could wreck him so badly.

"You ok?" He heard Steve's concerned voice. Bucky looked up from the phone, placing a fake smile on his face.

"Yeah, just Tony being stupid," He lied.

"Tony?" Steve asked, trying to keep the jealousy out of his voice. Bucky chuckled a real smile now.

"My Boss. He can be a pig sometimes." Bucky said, closing the phone down.

"The playboy with all the girls hanging off him?" Steve asked.

"Yep. the one who pushed Tiffeni on me…" He said rolling his eyes before a smirk spread across his lips. "I almost want to see the look on his smug face at the knowledge of who I really took home tonight."

"You often take strange men home?" Steve teased him, but underneath the question, there was curiosity. Bucky tried to ignore the text.

"A few, when I was in college. But none any recently," He told Steve.

"Oh, so that makes me special then?" Steve said.

"You were always special," Bucky said without even a second thought. He watched as Steve got onto his hands and knees, watching Bucky with lust filled eyes at his confession, as Steve slowly crawled over to where he was sitting. Bucky felt his cock twitch at the sight. Steve crawled in between Bucky's knees, and he couldn't help but open his legs for him, with a moan. He felt Steve kiss his knee, then another on the inside of his thigh.

"Then why did you leave?" Steve asked. Bucky's mouth went impossibly dry at that. When he took too long to answer, Steve nipped at his sensitive thigh.

"Fuck!" Bucky groaned out. "You know why," Steve kissed a little higher on his thigh, getting closer to Bucky's twitching cock.

"The real reason," He asked, knowing the bullshit reason Bucky gave him when he left was a lie. He always knew. Bucky felt both of Steve's hands on each of his thighs opening him up more to Steve's wanton gaze.

"To focus on school," Bucky said. Steve leaned in, blowing on Bucky still sensitive cock.

"Not the lie. The real reason," Steve said, his nails lightly scraping the inside of Bucky's thighs, causing Bucky to throw his head back.

"To protect you from my father," He tried again.

"The. Real. Reason. I just want the truth Bucky. For once…" He said a little hurt in his voice. Bucky bit his lip before Steve resumed blowing on his quickly hardening cock.

"Tell me and I'm all yours, as long as you'll have me. I have no place to be at the moment," He promised. Bucky was trying to process what Steve was telling him. What he wanted from him. What he was offering him. He moved his head forward, looking down at Steve, Steve's pupils already blown so wide with lust, but he could still see the determination in his eyes.

"Steve," Bucky begged, knowing how much Steve loved it when he begged, hoping to shut the man up. Bucky's hand went to Steve's cheek to caress it but Steve just grabbed it roughly, his eyes showing a little anger at being placated.

"Answer or..." He said, looking straight into Bucky's eyes, resolving himself. "...I walk out that door. I. Just need to know the truth," He practically growled. Bucky looked down at him, a mixture of arousal and just a little bit of fear at the pain in his hand, Steve gripping just a little too tightly. Was his pride really worth this?

"I was. Afraid," He admitted. Steve immediately let go of Bucky's hand.

"Of what?" Steve said, eyes avoiding Bucky's, fear in them. Bucky's hand went back to Steve's cheek, moving him to look back at him.

"Of my feelings…" Bucky answered, giving him a sad smile.

"What was scary about them?" Steve asked, his hands going back to Bucky's thighs.

"That they were real," Bucky admitted. Steve felt his eyes close, feeling the emotions he thought were dead and buried, rise inside him.

"I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one who had them," Steve said before quickly taking Bucky's half hard cock into his mouth.

"Fuck!" Bucky said with a yelp, his hand quickly going into Steve's hair, as Steve sucked his cock to life. Bucky felt Steve's fingers slip back into his well-used hole, causing Bucky's eyes to roll back in his head.

"God. Steve. You were always so good at that," Bucky encouraged and Steve took him all the way into his mouth. Steve began to move up and down Bucky's cock as his fingers quickly found Bucky's prostate, rubbing against it as Steve worshipped Bucky's cock with his teeth and tongue, making Bucky thrust up into that willing mouth.

"Steve. Want your cock," Bucky moaned out, causing Steve to growl around Bucky's cock. "Fuck! So good," Bucky said. Steve smiled, before slowly slipping off Bucky's cock with a dirty little pop that made Bucky groan.

"I promise you, You'll get my cock buried deep inside of you several more times before I'm done with you tonight. But for right now, just sit there and enjoy this. I want to taste you," Steve admitted before quickly taking Bucky back into his mouth, sucking him off with everything he had. It didn't take too much longer before Bucky's pants became sharper, his breath shallower.

"Steve. I'm. I'm." he panted before Steve felt the familiar taste that was purely Bucky fill his senses as he quickly swallowed everything that Bucky gave him. Once Bucky was done, Steve slipped off his softening cock, looking up with a smile at the blissed-out look of Bucky.

"I missed that look," Steve said. Bucky chuckled.

"It's not going to be the last time, but I need a small break," Bucky admitted. Steve smiled before patting Bucky's leg.

"Bed. Clothes off. I want to hold nothing but you," Steve said. Bucky nodded, getting up, going to his bedroom stripping off the rest of his clothes before getting into his bed, leaving plenty of room for Steve. A few minutes later, Steve entered the room, making Bucky sit back up. Bucky was a little curious before noticing he was now naked holding a glass of water.

"Drink. Don't want a hangover to get in the way," Steve said. Bucky smiled before downing half the glass, offering the rest to Steve. Steve smiled, drinking the rest, before putting the glass on the nightstand. Steve smiled as Bucky laid in bed, and Steve settled in behind him. His arms pulling Bucky's back flush against his chest. It felt so good. If felt just right. Steve just held him, feeling as Bucky slowly slipped into a restful sleep. It didn't take him long to follow.

* * *

Bucky woke up, feeling slightly hungover. He felt the arms wrapped around his chest, legs wrapped around his legs, trapping him up against the solid muscles nestled in behind him. He could feel Steve's erection nuzzled against his ass, his lips resting against the nape of his neck. It felt good. It felt oh so right, quickly soothing away a headache as his cock began to swell.

Bucky rubbed his ass against the hardness, extracting a moan from the still sleeping man's lips. Bucky couldn't help but smile as he rubbed again. He could feel Steve's arms tighten around him, pulling him even closer to Steve's body.

"Mmmm Steve," Bucky moaned before feeling a sharp nip on his neck, causing Bucky to gasp. Bucky panted when he felt Steve's hand slip up to his chin, pulling Bucky's head back so Steve could pull him into a hot and wet kiss.

"Steve. Please." Bucky begged. Steve groaned out. Bucky felt Steve's heat leave his back for a second as he reached out for something. Steve's other hand left his body, slipping between them and Bucky bit in lips in anticipation. Bucky could hear the familiar sounds before slicked up digits slipped over his entrance, slipping in with ease.

"Fuck. Your still open for me," Steve groaned out.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Bucky asked, pushing his ass back against Steve, finding that Steve was already slicked up, causing him to moan. "Please," he begged. He could feel Steve shift, before feeling the tip of Steve's cock rub against him. Bucky couldn't help but push back on it, Steve's hand quickly going to Bucky's hips, stilling him. Bucky nodded to the silent command before Steve ever so slowly slipped back into that tight heat. When Steve just held them together, holding Bucky to him, Bucky whimpered and began to squirm at the feeling of Steve so deep inside him.

"Shhh," Steve whispered into his ear. "I got you," Steve said.

"God. Steve. Please just fuck me," Bucky begged. He could feel Steve's hand on his chin, pulling him to his face again.

"Not this time, I want to take my time with you," Steve promised him before pulling him into a slow but passionate kiss, setting Bucky's body on fire. When Steve rolled his hips, Bucky broke the kiss with a gasp of pure pleasure as Steve pushed passed his prostate just right.

"There you go," Steve purred into his ear, before rolling his hips again. Bucky's hand went to grab Steve's strong bicep for support as Steve thrusts once more. Bucky through his head back on Steve's shoulder. Thrust. Bucky felt his eyes roll back. It just felt perfect. Thrust. Bucky could feel Steve's teeth brush against his now exposed neck, before quickly sucking on the neck so hard Bucky knew there would be bruises. Thrust. Steve was marking him, claiming him as his and Bucky didn't even fucking care at the moment. Thrust.

"Steve!" Bucky gasped out before feeling Steve's lips on his ear.

"I got you," He said pushing in again. "Enjoy it," he said, teeth nibbling Bucky's ear with another thrust.

"Please," He begged, it was too much. Every push of those hips, pushing in just right, perfectly, like they were made for each other. Sex was always good with Steve but this… this was just…

With another thrust of Steve's hips, Bucky nearly lost it, he wanted it so badly, he could feel it but Steve wasn't giving him enough. He was keeping him on the edge, not allowing him to slip over.

"I can feel it," Steve said into his ear, pushing in again. "Just how close you are, so ready to come around my cock," he said before he shifted his hips, nailing Bucky's prostate just right.

"Fuck! Please," Bucky choked out.

"You want to come?" Steve asked as he thrusts in again.

"Yes!" Bucky begged. He felt Steve's hips thrust faster as Steve's control started to slip. Bucky nearly cried when he felt Steve's hand slip around his rock hard cock into his hand.

"I got you…" Steve said before he lost that last bit of control, thrusting hard and fast into Bucky's well-used body, Steve's hand quickly stroking Bucky's leaking cock.

"Steve. Yes. Harder. Please!" Bucky nearly screamed and Steve quickly complied as Bucky started to fall apart in Steve's hand, coming harder than Bucky ever thought he had before, spilling out all over Steve's hand. A few more quick thrusts before Steve followed him, a heavy groan on his lips as his hips stilled and Bucky could feel the heat explode inside him, causing Bucky to whimper.

They laid there, panting. Bucky felt Steve's hand leave his softening cock, trying to suppress the groan. He felt Steve prop himself on his arm, careful not to slip out of Bucky, and Bucky couldn't help the groan, as Steve's semi-hard cock shifted inside him. Bucky turned his head, to look at Steve with a blissed-out smiled before he watched Steve take his hand, covered in Bucky's cum, and slowly started to lick the cum off his hand like it was the sweetest thing Steve had ever tasted.

"Fuck," Bucky breathed out, feeling his cock twitch.

"Mmm, it tastes as good as I remembered…" Steve purred out. Bucky couldn't help but fall back on to Steve's chest, wanting the man as close as he could be. "Come here," Steve said, wrapping his arms around Bucky. Bucky smiled at this, feeling himself relax within those protective arms, quickly falling into a peaceful sleep, Steve wrapped around him.

* * *

Steve woke up, feeling the sun shining through the curtain of the bedroom he was sleeping in. It took him a moment to remember where he was and what he did last night. A smile slipped on his lips at the memories.

Steve slipped from the bed, his bladder overriding his need to want to cuddle with Bucky. He quickly made his way to the bathroom to relieve himself. He found his discarded boxers, slipping them on before making his way into Bucky's kitchen. He searched around for a little bit before finding everything he needed to start a pot of coffee for the both of them. He knew Bucky would need at least two cups. His eyes lingered over the wall, the wall where he fucked Bucky up against last night. He smirked.

He moved over to it, seeing the designer slacks on the floor, along with Bucky's wallet and the discarded condom. He felt himself getting a little hard, remembering the feeling of his lover, bare before him. He picked up the foil packet, slipping it back into the wallet before grabbing the expensive slacks, knowing they would need to be hung up to avoid anymore wrinkling. As he threw them over his arm, something slipped out of them, hitting the floor with a bounce. Steve knelt down, picking up the small vile, looking at it curiously.

He wondered what it was. He moved back to the kitchen, throwing the slacks over the back of the couch, placing the vile on the kitchen counter, before going to get two coffee cups out. He looked into the fridge, finding the flavored cream that Bucky liked, before adding it to the cup. When the coffee was done, he pours it into the two cups. He grabbed them, taking one last look at the vile as he passed, before going back to Bucky's bedroom, sipping his cup.

Steve found Bucky still asleep. He placed the coffee on the side table, before slipping back into the bed, nuzzling the back of Bucky's neck. Bucky let out a light pur at this, causing Steve's cock to respond. He didn't think he would ever get enough of him.

"Bucky, I got you coffee," Steve told him. Bucky's eyes open slowly, looking up at Steve.

"Hey, you said coffee?" He asked with a smile. Steve nodded. He handed the cup to Bucky as he started to sit up. He took a sniff of it and smiled. "You found the cream," He said with a chuckle, taking his first sip of the drink before letting out a moan.

"You keep doing that, sweetheart and we'll never make it out of bed," Steve warned.

"Maybe I don't want to leave," Bucky admitted. Steve chuckled.

"Was thinking of making you breakfast. I mean you do have food in the fridge, eggs and such."

"Snooping much?" Bucky teased.

"A little when I was making you coffee. You upset?" Steve asked.

"Quite," Bucky said jokingly, before moving to rest on Steve's chest, Steve's arms going to rest on Bucky's shoulder as they sat there, slowly drinking their coffee in comfortable silence. When Steve finished his cup, he patted on Bucky's shoulder, getting the man to get off him.

"I'll start breakfast," He said before getting out of bed, taking their coffee cups before going back to the kitchen. Bucky sighed, laying down on the bed, pulling in the pillow that Steve had been sleeping on, before smelling it. He groaned before quickly getting out of bed before he got too turned on.

"I'm going to take a shower," He called out before heading to the bathroom. After the shower, Bucky quickly got dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts before leaving his bedroom, the smells from the small kitchen making his stomach growl. Bucky smiled as he watched Steve plate an omelet he made, before placing it on the bar of his kitchen. Bucky slipped into one of the chairs, ready to devour the breakfast as Steve started to make his own, a smile on his lips.

"More coffee?" Steve asked, going to the fridge to get the cream, knowing what Bucky's answer would be. Bucky nodded before watching Steve wait on him like it was his second nature. Even after all this time, Steve took care of him.

Steve made himself a plate, before taking a bite, looking at Bucky as he was finishing up his. Bucky noticed Steve's eyes on him and he smiled before he noticed that Steve was looking conflicted. Steve picked up his coffee, taking a long drink before he cleared his throat.

"What's that?" Steve said, motioning to the edge of the bar. Bucky turned to look, noticing the vile of his vice sitting there. Bucky felt the smile slip off his face. He looked to where they fucked last night, seeing that Steve had cleaned up the mess, being Steve. He wondered for a moment if Steve searched his pockets. If he was trying to find something.

"It fell out of your pocket when I was cleaning up…" Steve said, answering his unspoken question. Bucky nodded, looking back at it, before looking up at Steve. He didn't want to answer. He didn't want to have this fight.

"Maybe you should leave," Bucky said softly, as he turned away from Steve.

"Yeah, that's what I thought it was. So you're a coke-head now?" Steve said, a little venom in his voice.

"Hey! It's to help me take the edge off. You know I'm not good in social situations. I've never been!" Bucky snapped back defensively.

"God, you and your quick fixes. You know this stuff is going to kill you? You need to stop," Steve demanded.

"You don't get to tell me what to do. You haven't been here these last five years. You don't know what it's been like," Bucky explained.

"Well, whose fault is that?" Steve barked at him. Bucky just stared at him, hurt in his eyes at that comment.

"Yeah, you're right. This is all my fault…" Bucky started.

"Bucky…" Steve said, softer, trying to backpedal a little.

"No, it's all my fault," He said nodding his head before turning away from Steve. "I shouldn't have asked you over. Just couldn't help myself," Bucky said.

"Bucky that's not what I meant…"

"I think you should leave," He said again. Steve sighed, shaking his head.

"You always push me away," Steve said.

"Maybe you should take the hint," Bucky shot back. Steve shook a little at that.

"Maybe I should. But you know what? I fucking care about you. I think I have since the moment I met you. And this shit," He said, picking up the vile. "It's going to get you killed. And I don't want to see that," Steve pleaded. Bucky looked up, looking right into Steve's eyes, tears begging to spill over, looking completely wrecked. Steve felt his heart start to break even more as Bucky unconsciously played with the bruise Steve left on his neck. Steve's mark.

"No one asked you to watch," Bucky said coldly. Steve felt his heart snap at that, as well as his anger.

"Do you want to die!?" Steve shouted.

"NO!" Bucky yelled back.

"Then why!?" He said showing him the vile.

"It helps me to live," Bucky admitted.

"There are other ways than this!" Steve yelled.

"Not for me," Bucky argued. Steve snapped again, throwing the vile onto the floor, shattering it. Bucky didn't even flinch.

"You're better than this," Steve argued. Bucky sat there, slightly shaking his head. Steve growled, before leaving the kitchen and left Bucky sitting there in silence. A few minutes later, Steve came back in, dressed, looking calmer.

"I can't watch you destroy yourself to be the person you don't even want to be. I can't do that to myself. Not again," Steve said. Bucky refused to move, to talk, Steve knew he had shut down on him. Steve sighed before pulling out his wallet, placing a card on Bucky's counter.

"But if you change your mind, I would like to try again with you. I missed you, Bucky. More than I think you'll ever know. But I can't, not with you like this. If you want help. I'll be there, but not with the drugs," Steve said, moving over to kiss Bucky's forehead, before turning to walk out the door. When the door shut, Bucky curled in on himself letting the sobs overtake him.


End file.
